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30 | GRAVITAS MAGAZINE I call it my "maternal sabbatical," my five-year gig as a stay-at-home mom. I wish I could say it was the most blissful time in my life, but that would not be entirely true. While I am grateful for the opportunity to witness all those important milestones in my babies' young lives, some aspects of the job were challenging for me. When my earning capacity disappeared as a "non-working" mom, so did my personal worth in some ways in my husband's eyes and truthfully my own. My professional life prior to motherhood was full of rich experiences and interesting jobs, so a great deal of my self-worth was tied to my career. Once that was gone and I was "just" a mom and wife, I struggled to reconcile my value. Adding to my feelings of inadequacy, I lost financial freedom once I was regulated to asking my husband for an allowance. This unhealthy shift of control in our marriage resulted in resentment on both sides. As my children approached school age, I eagerly began plans to trade in my yoga pants for a new Dana Buchman suit and go back to work. At 41-years-old, I set out to re-enter the work force, only to be faced with a disappointing new reality. It was 2010, jobs were scarce, competition high and my qualifications dated. Realistically, I knew I would not be able to re-enter my career at a VP or even Director level, I would need to restart my career in a lower position. And yet, even getting hired at a lower level proved challenging. On one occasion, the person interviewing me to be his assistant was 10 years younger than me and much less experienced. Instead of looking impressed by my breadth of knowledge, I saw suspicion in his eyes. I knew I would not get the job, he saw me as his potential replacement. Ultimately, I bought my dream job. Unsatisfied with my options, I began investigating cost effective businesses for sale in industries that interested me, eventually I found Florida Homes Magazine. It had a narrow focus but good bones, a unique niche and most importantly, it was affordable. Although I had never worked in the magazine industry, my prior careers in marketing, advertising and sales in the luxury home industry were perfect training for this particular type of publication, so I convinced my husband it was a good investment in our future. I redesigned it, expanded and now I own a thriving media company, but it hasn't happened without a great deal of hard work and sacrifice. Certainly, there are days when I wish I could be the class mom and pick my children up from school when the bell rings. On those days, when the guilt closes in on me, I sit down and read one of my magazines. The pride for what I've accomplished assures me assurance that I made the best decision for me and for my boys. I'm happier as a working mom. My Maternal Sabbatical No one has to look too far to find a woman who has lived the Opt-Out/Opt-In experience. By Jules Lewis Gibson

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