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Walk in Someone Else's Slippers Oftentimes we judge others from a place of misunderstanding, which in turn causes a myriad of issues. In order to become more empathetic, imagine life in someone else's shoes. Each step someone takes is a result of the life they have lived. Rather than judging, we should try to understand why they act the way they do. e result is the reward of renewed empathy, allowing us to better understand our own missteps. Focus on Today Another helpful tip for acquiring more confidence is to focus on today. Long-term goals are important, but too often, people sacri- fice the moment for someday in the distant future. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow, so don't expend too much of your energy on far-reaching goals. Strive to make today great and recognize your power in the moment to accept yourself exactly as you are. Avoid "What If " Focusing on the positive side of life rather than the negative can greatly affect the quality of your days. Many people spend far too much mental energy on the possible negative outcomes of situations. What if we all just take a break from the "what if " syndrome? Bad times will certainly come to all of us. When less than desirable situations arise, don't procrastinate; deal with it, then move on. But until the bad thing absolutely happens, don't waste good energy chasing it. Choose Progress Over Perfection Perfection doesn't exist in the human experience. Improvement is a better goal than perfection. Setting a high bar is commendable, but don't disparage yourself if you fail to meet all of your benchmarks immediately. Sometimes people set lofty goals, such as running a marathon to get in shape. en when they fail to reach their goal, they become discouraged and quit. Slow, steady progress is the best way to reach any goal. If you have a minor or even major setback, remain patient and keep moving forward. Don't let it undermine your confidence to ultimately be successful. Expect to Get What You Expect It's an uncanny truth that people who totally believe they are going to succeed, usually do. ose who believe life is unfair repeatedly find themselves in unfortunate situations. Visualizing your way to happi- ness is not a new concept. Norman Vincent Peale, a minister and the author of the famous book e Power of Positive inking, sold tens of millions of copies on the subject back in 1952. He preached that people inevitably get what they focus on. Peale advised, "Formulate and stamp indelibly in your mind a mental picture of yourself as suc- ceeding. Hold the picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop the picture." e mind is the most powerful tool in our arsenal for achieving the life we want. Picture a life that makes you happy. Illustrate it in your mind; color in the details. Now write down every element of the life you desire, from your work to your family and friends, the house you live in, your hobbies and interests. Imagine what it feels like to live this life. Now, accept that you deserve it. It's harder than it sounds for women to hold this happy picture without allowing doubt to invade. We are our own worst critics. We doubt our abilities, put ourselves down and constantly remind ourselves of our shortcomings. We would never treat a friend the way we do ourselves. Stop the endless self-deprecation! When your inner critic gets going, change the subject. Focus on the happy picture and where you are going; don't allow self-doubt to pull you down—on- ward and upward! Life is 10% what you experience and 90% how you respond to it. - Dorothy M. Neddermeyer Subscribe at GravitasMag.com | 13

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