Presenting

where you test all of your philosophies and really fig ure out who you are as a person. e thing that's notably hard is that he's my person, right? e person I would go through it w ith. He's definitely still w ith us. I feel him in ever y way. It's not good enough, but that's how resilience is made. It's hard and unceasing , but we just fig ure it out. He and I were just really tight from the moment we first saw each other. We met at the Times. I was work ing there and he walked through the newsroom back to sports. I saw him and our eyes locked. He looked at me from the time our eyes met until he was out of sight. It was like a thousand years in five seconds. I called my roommate and said, "Oh my God, I just saw my husband." She said, "Who is he?" I said, "I have no idea, but I' ll find out and call you back." is is nothing like me, nothing about this is like me. I looked up his name and used the newspaper's message system to send him a note. I wrote, "You are my husband." I was 21 at the time and he is 15 years older than me. He sent back, "Who is this?" It was so unlike me but I had to. ere was such familiarity when I looked at him, I recognized him from a thousand lifetimes. I have walked a journey with him many, many times. I had no doubt or reticence or worr y that this guy was going to think I was crazy. But then we didn't talk for a year. I went off and worked in Louisville, went back to school, and when I got back I saw him in the elevator one day. He said, "What are you doing here?" I said, "I'm here now." We went out that night and were together ever since. at's how we met! We were total opposites, but over the course of our time together I got much more rugged and he got much more refined. We were a good balance for each other. Now we have these kids who are a perfect blend of both. What kind of dreams did you have for your life as a child? I've never had really concrete, conclusive dreams, like, "Oh, I want to be x or y." I really just wanted to be happy. It emerged pre y quick ly that I was good at understanding people's stories and translating that in resonating ways. I spent a lot of time at the Poynter Institute grow ing up. I was actually a Poynter Scholar. ey paid for my college and I was fortunate to grow up in this newspaper tow n, w ith the Times, and I learned there, which was amazing. Tell me about your family. My dad was a real estate appraiser and my mom worked for GTE in many capacities for 27 years, until she retired to care for her mother. I have a huge family. My mom is one of 15 and I probably have 280 to 300 relatives south of Ulmerton Road. Ever ybody's here. People go, but they always come back. So it's great. I have a lot of strong-minded, determined women surrounding me. My grandmother was a ver y strong matriarch, a Southern woman. I had a lot of influence from older, wise people who just really provided great guidance. So as an African-American woman growing up, you were presented with very strong role models, and the sky was always the limit for you. at's right. ere wasn't a lot of pressure to pick a specific path. It was just the insistence that whatever it is, do it well—contribute and understand your place in the world and your responsibility to help others. A nd to ser ve and give back however that ABOVE: Tomalin with many of the members of the City's Urban Affairs Team. Get busy being so awesome that you cannot be denied." Photo by Allie Serrano Por traits. Subscribe at GravitasMag.com | 55 Subscribe at GravitasMag.com | 55

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