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GRAVITAS MAGAZINE GravitasMag.com | 45 born with a sensitive genetic disposition are more easily influenced by positive and negative experiences, and some believe, are more adaptable and able to excel. ese revolutionary findings negate the assumption that so called "damaged individuals" born into abusive situations or with inferior genetic makeup are destined to a difficult future. e findings suggest quite the opposite. Given proper guidance, support and care, the challenged among us are more likely to become superstars. Boys vs. Girls Following the same line of reasoning, women who have generally been relegated to the corridors of business and politics, if exposed to nurturing environments that value their skills and knowledge, will undoubtedly thrive. Rather than try to morph women into feminized versions of male stereotypes, corporations and governments should recognize the need to re-access their culture and consider how they can create environments that value the qualities and skills women bring to the table. Perhaps they should give more consideration to the dual problem at play. Women who assume they need to be 100-percent certain they are competent to perform a job before applying are not the whole problem; another key factor to address is men's abundance of over confidence. Many lives have been lost and fortunes gambled, due to men's over assessments of their abilities. omas Chamorro-Premuzic, professor of Business Psychology at University of College London and author of the book Confidence, argues that over confidence is rampant among men. He believes women in general have a much better gauge of their true abilities and disagrees with attempts to embolden them to be more like men. "e world would be a much better place if we managed to make men more like women, because the problem is not that women lack confidence—men have too much of it," he says. Chamorro-Premuzic also acknowledges the different criteria used to evaluate men and women. "Society punishes manifestations of confidence in women, and rewards them in men, which only reinforces the natural differences between the genders." Another striking difference between the sexes is the dynamics of same-sex relationships. Boys do not emotionally support and share with each other the way that girls do, and yet, they strengthen each other's confidence in profound ways. e teasing and "roughhousing" that seems to be a rite of passage with boys builds resilience against criticism, which comes in handy in life. As a mother of two boys, I have noticed the differences in my sons' nature from infancy. As an acknowledged "girly girl" who was raised with only an older "even girlier girl" sister, the difference in sibling interaction between my sister and me than that of my boys fascinates me. My first "aha" moment happened when I witnessed their first brawl. My youngest son was only a few months old, lying on a blanket on the floor. He was peacefully playing with his toy, when his brother, who is eighteen months older, tackles him out of nowhere. ey rolled around wrestling and laughing as if this behavior was coded into their DNA, as an unspoken language among the male of the species. "Is drop, tackle and roll the primal communication instinct of males?" I wondered. I remember thinking little girls don't do this. Little girls color together, play with dolls and have tea parities; they don't throw each other to the floor, at least not before a good deal of verbal negotiation and screaming. Over the years, my sons' communication has evolved. ey play well together, but not without an occasional conflict, and heaven forbid one miss an opportunity to point out when the other makes a mistake or doesn't have a good game. And yet, it doesn't appear to bother them. Occasionally, there have been tears, but mostly, hurt feelings are reciprocated with a mild punch or a quick insult. I have come to regard their sibling rituals as brotherly love. It's a beautiful thing, really. I appreciate the Teflon skin they help each other grow. I doubt when someone fires off a negative remark to my sons that either will run for the exit in hysterics. Hopefully, they will laugh it off and walk away. It's likely they might respond with, "Ha, that's all you got? My brother could do better than that at 7." Continued on page 46 Life is not easy for any of us. We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained. Marie Curie " "

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