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44 | GRAVITAS MAGAZINE GravitasMag.com 44 | GRAVITAS MAGAZINE GravitasMag.com Meanwhile, Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the phenomenally popular book, Eat, Pray, Love, points out with her usual frankness that women need to give ourselves a break, especially since we're forging a totally new path. "When I look at my life and the lives of my female friends these days — with our dizzying number of opportunities and talents — I sometimes feel as though we are all mice in a giant experimental maze, scurrying around, frantically trying to find our way through. But maybe there's a good historical reason for all this overwhelming confusion. We don't have centuries of educated, autonomous female role models to imitate here (there were no women quite like us until very recently), so nobody has given us a map. As a result, we each race forth blindly into this new maze of limitless options. And the risks are steep. To make matters even more stressful, we constantly measure ourselves against each other's progress, which is a truly dreadful habit," she reminds us. Gen X women have developed an exhausting bar of excellence. Well aware that we have to jump higher, and do it better and faster than the guys to get noticed, some of us have become overachieving maniacs. Understandably this transformation of the female experience has had a daunting effect on our relationships with men. Women no longer have to be in – or stay in – a relationship with a man that doesn't work for us. Most Western women are no longer dependent on men for money, social standing, to legitimize our children, or to even raise them at all. While many women are perfectly capable of bringing home the bacon, frying it up in a pan, and totally taking care of themselves, it doesn't mean they necessarily want to do it alone. While women can afford to be choosier and raise the bar, finding adequate partners who are kind, generous and responsible, as well as supportive, domestic and truly willing to take on half, if not more, of the responsibilities at home so, that we can conquer the world. Let's just say, that's a tall order for most men. It's just as difficult and confusing for men, in this topsy-turvy world that barely resembles the traditional passive-aggressive relationship he grew up seeing in his home. Dad was the undeniable king of the castle while Mom tended to the children, pursued a job in some cases, but never dared assume that her work would ever be as important or lucrative as her husband's. She dutifully kept all of her balls in the air, had dinner on table and learned the art of manipulative negotiation, making a man believe everything is his idea. Many good Gen X men are lost in modern relationships, unsteady in a delicate balance between adoring doormat and macho jerk. Another by-product of the cultural shift taking place today is that women are forgoing motherhood in significant numbers. According to new research from the Center for Work Life Policy, titled e X Factor: Tapping into the Strengths of the 33-to-46-year-old Generation, the study showed that over 40% of college- educated women between the ages of 41 and 45 surveyed didn't have children, and that's obviously towards the end of the childbearing years. While many women have made the conscious decision to remain childless, others haven't exactly made the choice; they merely ran out of time. Demanding careers, lack of a good partner and enticing opportunities crowded out the possibility of having children, thereby, running out their biological clocks. Some women with abundant resources and layers of support opt to adopt or hire a surrogate past their prime baby-making years. Actresses Angelina Jolie, Charlize eron and Sandra Bullock led the celebrity alternative mommy pack, giving "single mothers" a sexy new image. For mere mortal women, such options are unrealistic, leaving them with few options but possibly many regrets. However challeging our paths may be, women of Gen X appear aptly prepared for the journey. Instead of lamenting our challenges, let's celebrate the amazing strides we are making for the future of the female race. Perhaps Gen X women will prove to be the group that really does save the world. On the cover of this month's Inc. magazine, the headline, e Next Steve Jobs: 8 Women Who Could Own e Future, brazenly affirms that the hierarchies have apparently decided the next big global game changer is going to be a woman. Who she will be is up to us. We are making the rules as we go, redefining success in our wake. Men and children, please take notice of the life rafts we have prepared for you in case and emergency should arise in our absence. e ladies who were told we could have it all are damned determined to get it. D According to a survey by the Center for Work Life Policy 40% of college-educated women between the ages of 41 to 45 do not have children. " I want every litle girl who is told she is bossy to be told instead she has leadership skills. Sheryl Sandberg "

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