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around the corner. To Susan's surprise, her dreams are not in New York, rather the Arthur Murray Dance Studio might be a good place to start. However, it's important not to mistake realistic goals with settling. Far too often people water their dreams down so much that they bear little resemblance to the real thing. Once these lukewarm goals are reached, they still feel unfulfilled with only one decipherable choice- to move on to the next tepid fantasy; and, thus continue the treadmill of deception. The media bombards us with images and fantastical ideals of achievement and yet so few people are truly happy. Drug addiction, obesity, violence and depression are the symptoms of the dilemma plaguing modern society. The purpose of setting realistic goals is to access the truth underneath your fantasies. The feelings are at the core of your desires. Once you establish this set of parameters, creating a path that fulfills those needs should be the goal, not recreating a fantasy existence. A rich, full life based on truth is the ultimate goal. Perhaps you want to be a classical pianist. Does that mean you can only play classical music? Do you only want to play a grand piano or might you like an upright? Do you need to perform for a living or is this something you can do part-time or weekends? Do you want to perform or teach? Would you like to join a band or perform solo? One idea is to start with weddings and parties in your area. Maybe you dream of having a family, but you have not found the "right" man. Do you need a spouse to raise a child? Do you need to raise a child from infancy or would you be happy adopting an older child? Far too many children in this world desperately need a loving home. Whatever your dream life looks like, it will be uniquely yours. Once you see it, don't let it go. Write it down — all of it. Imagine what it feels like living it. Tell your friends and family about it. Own it; believe it and you will make it happen! Step 5: Get Going Now that you have deciphered your true needs, you must convert them into specific measurable goals and objectives. Then take action to turn those dreams into your successful new reality. Break your goals down into specific weekly, monthly, and quarterly steps. Also, add one breakthrough goal that would move your plans forward in an exponential way. Write your goals down and look at them three times a day. A vision board can be a great way to illustrate the life you want. Some people find it useful to carry goals with them in their wallet or on their phone. When Jim Carrey was a struggling actor, he wrote himself a $10 million check for "acting services rendered," post-dated it 10 years and kept it in his wallet. By the time the ten years rolled around, he was being paid over $10 million per movie. Always remember that failure only comes from standing still. Go through open doors when opportunity presents itself. Don't be afraid of defeat, it is only a learning experience. Looking back from the perspective of wisdom, it is only the missed opportunities that foster regret. No one ever says on their deathbed, "I'm glad I didn't take more chances." Step 6: Stay Positive & Confident Once you have a clear vision of the life you want, don't let others try to dampen your dreams. Beware of other people's negative attitudes. Sometimes you have to follow a dream no one can see but you. Do not get stuck looking backwards with negative thinking; always move forward. Kathy Andersen While researching for this article, I spoke with Kathy Andersen renowned author, speaker and coach about her transformational journey of self-discovery. A native of Australia, Kathy had successfully climbed the corporate ladder, which provided everything on the "outside," and yet, she struggled to overcome the memories of a childhood of sexual abuse and her struggles "within." In her award-winning book, Change Your Shoes, Live Your Greatest Life, she shares how she swapped her high heels and corporate career for hiking boots and a journey of personal discovery. Her international journey of more than 10 years reveals how anyone can overcome their challenges and soar on the winds of boundless possibilities. "We each have our demons and darkness, but we each also have our angels and our light, which are ultimately more powerful. My journey enabled me to step into the darkness that filled me from the abuse and isolation that I had suffered throughout my childhood, and emerge with strength and purpose. Now I know we are each so much greater than the worst that happens to us." Kathy now lives in Miami and travels the world helping others find their path to happiness and success. Purchase her book, Change Your Shoes, Live Your Greatest Life at Amazon.com or visit her website KathyAndersen.com. "The secret of getting ahead is getting started." Mark Twain 38 | GRAVITAS MAGAZINE GravitasMag.com

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