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GRAVITAS MAGAZINE GravitasMag.com | 37 learn almost anything. The only person stopping you is you. So give yourself permission to dream big. You truly do deserve it! Step 3: Write It Down This is one time in life when being self- centered is necessary. To define your personal dreams, you must set aside society's ideals and external standards. Set aside some time in your schedule when you can be alone with no distractions. In a new notebook or journal, write "My Dreams" on page one. The goal of this exercise is to identify the things you feel passionate about. What words come to mind when you think about these ideas? 1. Next write about the places you've been that you enjoyed. How did these locations make you feel? And why? 2. Now, think back to days when you felt best about yourself. Special days that stand out in your mind. What words would you have used to describe yourself on those days? 3. Imagine winning the Powerball jackpot. What would you do, where would you go, who would you help? Think about all the amazing things you would do, if money were no object. Think about it overnight, live out the fantasy in your mind as you go to sleep. The next morning wake up and think about what you would do next. After all the initial fantasies of the lotto win are done, what would you do? Write down how your life would look, where you would live, who would be in your life. Would you work, volunteer, create art or music? This exercise helps you break through the boundaries to discover what you truly value. And then, you can use that knowledge to craft a winner's life without the millions. 4. Now, make a list of your Strengths and Weaknesses, not just skills but also your physical, emotional and psychological traits. Then ask those closest to you to make their own list of their perception of your strengths and weaknesses. Keep in mind that friends and colleagues may be most astute; family can often have deep-seated impressions from years past, not necessarily based in current reality. Finally, it's time to read back through all of the information you've gathered through this process. Notice all links and pay particular attention to the way you feel. What ideas bring you calm or excitement? Let your intuition be your guide (Find the similarities among the various ideas and feelings.) as you assess the core of what makes you truly happy. Step 4: Reality Check Now that you have a clear picture of what makes you happy, it's time for a dose of reality. Contrary to what some self-help gurus teach, I think it's important to be realistic. While I'm a fan of inspirational, positive affirmation, feel-good philosophy, I also live in the real world. When I say that you can live your dreams, maybe I should add a disclaimer stating that there are "limitations." For example, a 55-year-old woman is not going to live out her childhood fantasy of being a prima ballerina for the New York City Ballet. Let's call this fictional middle- aged ballerina, Susan. She can have her dream, but through an alternate path. If Susan spends time analyzing her youthful fantasy, she will find the core of what she actually desires. Perhaps when Susan was young, she loved moving her body by dancing. She enjoyed performing, the feeling when people appreciated her performance and the warmth of the spotlight. Training and competing made her feel strong and proud of accomplishing her goal. Obviously, Susan's prima ballerina days are over. BUT, she can change her life and open herself up to an entirely new world. A world where she can capture those feelings that created her fantasy. She could join a ballroom dancing class or club and meet others who share her interest. She could step it up a notch to fulfill her dream of performing by training to compete in ballroom dancing competitions, wildly popular since "Dancing with the Stars" debuted. Or she might enjoy taking adult ballet classes. She could practice ballet and improve her health and fitness. She could even do both activities and successfully manifest all of the feelings that fueled her fantasy, bringing renewed vitality and excitement to every facet of her life through dance. Living the life of your dreams doesn't mean you need to tear down your entire world. Sometimes our dream life is just Continued on page 38 Life shrinks and expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin " "

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