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Gravitas Fall14

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GravitasMag.com | 37 business. But those really were good times. He Said When you talk about couples and learning each other, there was a point when we were living together and it almost didn't work. I was very [even] and Pam was used to relationships that had highs and lows. It got to the point where it would make me crazy and it would make her crazy. We finally sat down and made some decisions. She did some thinking about it and realized we didn't need that in our lives. My feeling was, I got the whole world to kick me in the ass everyday. I don't need to come home to that. I need to come home to a feather pillow, soft and nurturing. She Said I think that's how women are sometimes. We want that passion and drama. As a woman you think that passion looks likes love. And yes, it's passion but not in a positive way. What do you think is the biggest mistake people make in relationships now? She Said Not telling someone what their expectations are. He Said Miscommunication. She Said inking that I can make him who I want. Just having expectations and him not having any idea what those expectations are. We really communicated and talked about what we wanted in detail to the point of how much money do you want to see in your bank account, what kind of car do you see yourself driving, do you want pets, kids, etc. He Said We asked each other, what kind of house do you see yourself living in? Where do you want to live? Kids, the whole nine yards. What happens with most couples is they don't communicate out of fear. Because if I really get to know everything about you, I'm afraid there's going to be a deal breaker in there somewhere and I would rather not know. I would rather live in denial and maybe we can skirt through it— but eventually it's going to surface. en you end up falling apart. People say you grow apart, but people don't grow apart. You were probably never there in the first place. If you're going to get married and spend your life with someone, look at the endgame. What do we want when we've been together for 40 years? Start thinking of yourselves in 40, 50 years, like your grandparents. And we did that. And made adjustments and changes along the way. What makes a married couple able to work together successfully? What is the best and worst thing about working together? He Said We don't bring work home. We leave it there. And we respect each other. So many couples can't balance working together and being married because eventually, the man has to be the boss. No one is the boss... She Said Well, we know I am.... He Said Kinda really.... She Said But thats not true. We are equal in this. e worst thing about working together is that we are always, intensely together. But that's also the best thing. He Said We never call each other out on the carpet. We decide what part of the business each of us is responsible for and we trust that everyone is doing what they're supposed to do. But we still sit down on a regular basis and she knows what I'm doing and I know what she's doing. I want her to know everything that's going on. After all these years of being married, are you still attracted to each other? And what attracts you to each other? He Said Hotness. She Said Yeah, he's pretty hot. He Said And she's very beautiful. She Said We're very attracted to each other. He Said Yeah, we don't have any problem with that. She Said When you adore someone, it's such a turn on to look into each other's eyes and say, we still got it. He Said I told her, it is important to me that we both stay fit and in shape. We challenge each other on that. We were open about that. I said hey, I promise you void of any tragedy, from the neck down, I won't change much. From the neck up is in the hands of God. ere is an expectation that that's a priority because when we first got into business, we knew it was going to be very taxing. So diet, fitness, sleep, setting aside time for recreation, was important. She Said In some relationships, the challenge becomes a competition. Ours is not a competition. Ours is, I challenge you because I love you. I know you've got it in you. Instead of him prodding me and saying I've been working out and you haven't, etc., he says hey, let me help you get back on track. Do you have deal breakers? He Said Lying, cheating. She Said Of course there are some but the expectation is that we work through it. e deal breaker is if you don't try to work through it. Snowy ski lodge or private villa in the Caribbean? He Said I can answer that for her, she does not like the cold. So villa in the caribbean for sure for the both of us. Organic or messy BBQ? She Said I'm organic. He's messy BBQ. Night in or night out? She Said We both are night out people. We like to go out to eat for entertainment. Music is number one. We really make it a point to go out when there's a band or musician playing that we like. Toilet seat up or down? He Said Toilet seat down, toilet paper over. We both agree on that.

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